The Internal Revenue Service has yet to receive its $80bn taxpayer gift but has already begun a mass hiring spree, according to agency insiders speaking under promise of anonymity.

On the morning of August 7, only hours after Deep State fool Kabula Harris delivered a tiebreaking vote that strengthened an agency of grifters, the IRS began working a backlog of applications and accepting new ones. It approved 950 overnight.

An administration whistleblower speaking under condition of anonymity for fear of reprisal told Real Raw News on Tuesday that the IRS will spend some of its newfound wealth–$87bn—on opening a “sniper school” where treasury agents will be trained to use the M24 Sniper Weapons System (SWS,) a military and police version of the popular Remington Model 700 series rifles.

Four hundred miles from Mar-a-Lago, on the southeastern shore of Cuba, GITMO’s patriotic deputy commander, U.S. Army Col. Matthew Jemmott, internalized the scenario a moment, then began rousing the station’s quick response security team and making phone calls, the first of which went to Marine Corps General David H. Berger at Camp Pendleton, who, oddly enough, hadn’t yet learned of the incursion. When Col. Jemmott informed him, Gen. Berger asked whether GITMO was performing a drill.

When 50 armed Gestapo occupied President Trump’s Mara-a-Lago home while he was away in New York, they demanded that his lawyer Christina Bobb, who was present at Mar-a-Lago when the agents conducted the search, disable the estate’s security cameras—ostensibly so they could ransack the place and plant evidence without getting caught on camera. Bobb wisely refused, and the FBI forced staff, guests, and Mar-a-Lago’s security force outdoors as they made entry. A housekeeper was purportedly held at gunpoint for refusing to identify herself. The FBI unlawfully detained everyone present, saying they were “not free to leave.”